THE WORLD NEEDS CALENDAR REFORM

TO ALL MY FELLOW NEW CALENDARIANS:

We believe in the 8-Day Week! We demand Life in 8-D! We spend too many days of our lives working instead of living. My proposed calendar reform aims to solve this problem by restructuring the calendar around the 8-day week.


THE PROPOSAL:

We begin with the goal of an 8-day week. In today's business-run world, the notion of a 4-day work week faces staunch resistance by corporations and their investors with little concern to the work-life balance of we who make them successful. The 8-day week solves this problem by adding a day to the week. This way, companies can maintain their 5-day, 40-hour work week, but we the people get the hallowed 3-day weekend for which we all long. The beauty of this plan lies in the minimal reordering of current measurements. The 24-hour day and the 365-day year remain in tact; the only restructuring is at the month and day levels. I propose a set of 9 months consisting of 5 8-day weeks each, with a 5-day Universal Vacation Period (UVP) at the end of the calendar year to bring the number of days in the year to 365 (On leap year, the UVP is augmented to 6-days).

Before the hubris of Julius Caesar and Caesar Augustus, the calendar year only had 10 months. By simply removing July, August, and December, we return to a system where the months with numerical prefixes once again correspond to their appropriate position in the calendar: September will be the 7th month, October will be the 8th, and November will be the 9th. I have included an Interactive Birthday Calculator below so that those of you with displaced birthdays can discover your new day of celebration, which would occur on the day of the year as before out of the 365, but adhering to the new distribution of days.

The days of the week have their origins in norse mythology: Wednesday is Odin's Day, Thursday is Thor's Day, Friday is Freya's Day. For the 8th day, I propose a name based on Loki, the god of mischief. He has become a pop culture icon through the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and I am convinved the people would quickly take to a day named after the character. My proposed name for this new day, which would occur betwixt Friday and Saturday, is Lokday.


CONCLUSION:

I am certain that you have now all joined me in recognizing the superiority of this proposed system over the present one. We must take action to institute this new structure for our well-being, and the well-being of future generations.